Seeking Critiques of New Psalms Project

[talmid56]

Good morning, all!

I've recently posted my version of Psalm 1 on my blog, the first Old Testament portion of the Ancient Voices Bible. Comments and suggestions for improvement are welcome.

Here's a link to the post:

https://letancientvoicesspeak.wordpress ... alm-1-ddv/

You can read it online or download it in 3 printable formats.

[kwrandolph]

Rather free translation, paraphrase, wouldn’t you say?

Karl W. Randolph.

[talmid56]

Not at all, it's an idiomatic translation, which is what I aimed at. Also, as I'm sure you realize, Hebrew poetry formats are quite different than those in modern Western languages.

"Paraphrase" is not a correct term in this case. Strictly speaking, this refers to work done within one language, where you rephrase or restate another's words for clarity or emphasis. It does not accurately refer to transference between languages. Terms such as "dynamic equivalence", "idiomatic translation", "natural translation", or even "thought for thought translation" would be preferable.

Thanks for the feedback.

[kwrandolph]

If you can figure out modern western poetry, more power to you. That was about my worst subject in school.

Personally, I prefer more literal translations, with notes if needed to explain terms and concepts not found in English. It was based on my preferences that I made my comment.

Karl W. Randolph.

[talmid56]

Well, my exposure to modern poetry doesn't include the 21st century. it goes to about halfway through the 20th.

I understand your point about literal translations, and you have a lot of company in that preference. However, when it comes to communicating the thought of the Biblical writers to non-scholars, they often fall short, in my view. You may want to read the Translator's Preface to the DDV, at
https://letancientvoicesspeak.wordpress ... s-preface/.

In the Preface I point out that I intend especially to make the translation clear to ordinary men and women, and that I intend it to be an instrument for evangelism and Christian discipleship. The original Greek of the NT is, for the most part, the language of everyday of that period. Hebrew inscriptions, including letters such as the Lachish and Arad ostraca, include much that is common language as well.(You also see this register of language in the Elephantine papyri from the 5th century B.C., written in Aramaic.) While much of the OT is poetry, even those passages are often written to express everyday experiences and feelings, although in a religious context.

In my view, if literal or formal-equivalent (FE) translation expresses the thought clearly and accurately in a given case, it is fine to use. But, more often than not, because the languages are so different in how they express ideas, such impedes understanding.

I do give the word-for-word translation in some of the notes when it is relevant or helpful.

I'll be updating the Preface soon to reflect the fact that I am now working on Psalms as well as the New Testament. In the NT, I'll start work on Mark next.

[kwrandolph]

“Happy is the man who does not walk according to the advice of the wicked, nor does he stand in the path (road) of those who err, nor does he settle in the settlement of babbling fools. For his desire is in the LORD’s teaching, and in it he reads day and night.” (I question how to render יהוה as its pronunciation is presently unknown. I suspect it was like “Ye-ho-wa-he” but others have other guesses.) Is my quick and dirty translation not understandable by modern people? Why?

I suspect that the number one reason that people have difficulty making a literal translation of Biblical Hebrew is because of poor understanding of the language itself.

Karl W. Randolph.

[talmid56]

Yes, your translation is understandable. However, when it comes to rendering idioms and figures of speech, more literal translations often leave the reader wondering what is meant. Other times it may be (somewhat) clear, but does not conform to natural, standard usage of the target language.

Take, for example, the Hebrew בני בליעל, which the KJV translated as "sons (children) of Belial", Judgs. 19:22; 1 Sam. 2:12; 1 Sam. 25:17; 2 Sam. 20:1; 2 Sam. 23:6; 1 Kgs. 21:10; 2 Chr. 13:7.

This fails as a translation in several ways.

1) It fails to recognize the common idiom that gives a quality or characteristic.

2) It treats a common noun as a proper noun (note "Belial" is capitalized). Thus the reader will assume some individual person is meant.

3) As בליעל is a common noun, the meaning should be given.

It is clear that the KJV translators were not aware of the meaning: it means "uselessness" (or "worthlessness"), "wickedness", with the genitive equivalent to an adjective (HALOT). The Vulgate both transliterates it as "Belial" and adds "id est, absque jugo", "that is, without a yoke, or not submitting to authority. The LXX goes with υιοι παρανομων, "sons of lawlessness", i.e., lawless men. Either the explanatory gloss in the Vulgate or a translation of the LXX phrase would have been preferable.

it may be that the KJV translators read the usage of 2 Cor. 6:15 back into Judges. Paul uses "Belial" as a name for Satan, but this usage of Belial in Hebrew is not found in the OT. It is found in the Dead Sea Scrolls (1QM, The Damascus Document).

You find such expressions as "sons of disobedience", "children of wrath" in some NT translations, which are based on Hebrew idioms. These are literal translations, but not very clear. Nor do they meet the norms of English usage. In current English, qualities such as disobedience and wrath do not have sons (or daughters).

So, as a rule, I prefer not to translate expressions like these in a literal way, because they either are unclear to the reader, or because they do not follow correct English usage.

[Jason Hare]

Hey, Dewayne!

Thanks for sharing. I want to take a little time to read it more carefully and give you feedback as I go through it. I appreciate the fact that you would share your investment with the community.

[talmid56]

Glad to do it. We have a lot of talent here on B-Hebrew, and I am sure there are ways to improve the work.